What Do You Want?

We all desperately want to be happy.

It's a universal goal that drives many of our actions and decisions.

But be warned, our pursuit of happiness can often lead us down a slippery slope.

Chasing the wrong things in life will result in feeling empty inside, unfulfilled, and ever more unhappy than before.

As we will come to know our minds often play cunning tricks on us.

Convincing us to go after things that we think will make us happy.

For example, we might think that having a high paying job, lots of money, or material possessions will bring us happiness.

It doesn’t help that society constantly bombards us with crafty marketing messaging telling us that these are the only things that will make us happy.

However these things only provide a temporary boost in our well-being, as we quickly adapt to our new circumstances and start wanting more.

Research shows that technological and societal advancements haven't made us any happier than we were 40 years ago.

We need to identify and take inspired action towards the things that actually bring us lasting joy.

When we are able to do so, the benefits are endless.

To name a few:

• Overall well-being

• increased confidence

• Job satisfaction skyrockets

• Boosts in workplace productivity

• A deep sense of meaning and purpose in life

Research shows that about 40% of our happiness is under our control.

So, what can we do to increase our happiness?

Mind Games

First we must understand that our minds' strongest intuitions about how much we will like something and how happy it will make us are often wrong.

We judge relative to reference points which is a standard or benchmark that we use to evaluate different options.

Our reference points can be internal, such as our previous experiences, expectations, or goals, or external, such as social norms, cultural values, or comparisons to others.

Our minds are built to get used to things through hedonic adaptation - the psychological phenomenon where people have a tendency to return to a stable level of happiness or well-being despite experiencing positive or negative events or changes in their life.

Hedonic adaptation makes it difficult for people to sustain long-term happiness and can lead to a constant search for new sources of pleasure or excitement.

Stuff VS Experiences

Instead of investing in material possessions, invest in experiences.

This seems counterintuitive. I know.

The thing is that car you want so bad (we’ll use a car for our example) will be the same old vehicle as the weeks, months and years go by.

Experiences, on the other hand - create memories that can last a lifetime and provide a greater sense of fulfillment.

The sky trip to France with your family only lasts a week, and that is what is so special about it.

The very nature of them is fleeting, and that is a good thing!

Thwart your hedonic adaptation by savouring enjoyable moments by being mindful in the present moment.

Practicing gratitude daily will also help you greatly with combatting hedonic adaptation and rewiring your subconscious mind to scan your environment for positives.

I am a big fan of a formal gratitude practice, such as writing down three new things in your life that you can show appreciation for on a daily basis.

What Really Matters

Signature strengths and finding "flow" in a job are more important for our happiness than money.

Strategies that make all the difference:

• Be kind to others

• Value your free time

• Practice a growth mindset

• Prioritize social connection

Take care of your physical and mental health through:

• Exercise

• Good sleep

• Mindfulness via meditation

Recap

In summary, happiness is not found in the things we think will make us happy, but rather in our experiences, relationships, and personal growth.

Let's strive to make choices that align with our values and bring us true happiness.